I'm an old timer, really old timer. Things haven't changed too much because I was told the same thing and actually tried really, really, really hard to comply. However, I needed a few rides to meetings at different times. So two guys in the same car would pick me up. As long as there was someone else in the car it was allowed. But eventually it did pose a problem because my friends (1 of them) and I began to connect emotionally. He or I would say something at a meeting and then we'd discuss it on the ride home. He was 1 1/2 years sober when we met, I was 3 months. And so it began... Then soon I had problems with one of my children (I was a divoroced mom) and he said he'd try to help out and one thing INNOCENTLY grew into another. Well - let's cut to the chase here.... we'll be married 28 years this May. We still make meetings together. But want to know what?... people actually took bets infront of us that we wouldn't last even one year.
I must add though because it is a good practice not to mingle early on in program, that he and I both had had a solid and deep relationship ALREADY established with each owns High Power. We often say how our marriage is so strong BECAUSE we spent two years being good friends first.
We're both sober over 3 decades each.
Listen to your sponsor he only wants the best for you.
On Wed, Feb 11, 2009 at 4:30 AM, Country <richardperry@southernwine.com> wrote:
I have been told to stay out of a relationship with a woman for the
first year. What is wrong with dropping a girl off at work after our
meeting with the same amount of sobriety 90 days like me. My motives
are of kindness and I feel like a brother to her as she thinks of me
as her sister. My sponsor was very upset and doesn't approve of this.
Where does it say in the Big Book that this is not good. I have
nothing to offer a woman in early sobriety. We are the talk of the
Alano Club and we both feel uncomfortable. I feel like i'm in high
school again. Peolpe assuming makes them and me look like a A**. The
bottom line is my sobriety comes first. By the way I know my sponsor
is looking out for me. The old timers in AA can see something I can't
see i guess. CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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